Unanimously, as mothers, we will all agree that our children are our biggest blessings Alhamdulillaah. From watching them come into this dunya, to taking their first steps and saying their first words. The beauty of being a mother cannot be described, only felt.
Nevertheless, there are days when motherhood feels extremely exhausting. Having a human (or humans) rely on you to be fed, cleaned, protected, and more is a lot.
There are days when you wake up already exhausted. The house is messy. The little ones are at your feet, needing more than you feel you can give. While your heart is full, your patience is thin, and your energy is nonexistent.
For me, the transition to motherhood was undoubtedly one of the most beautiful yet hardest experiences of my life. It was while navigating this journey that I realised how truly comforting words of encouragement can be.
And so, here are some gentle reminders for all of us tired mothers that are trying our best, never feeling like our best is enough.
You are not weak for feeling tired.
Feeling tired does not mean you are ungrateful. It does not mean you don’t love your children or your life. It simply means you are human. Even the strongest women need rest. Even the best mothers feel overwhelmed.
Motherhood is the only job that is 24/7. Whether it's a daytime nap or skipping a chore, take the pause that you need.
Your Lord is always watching.
Our actions are judged by our intentions. Umar ibn al-Khattab reported: The Messenger of Allaah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
“Verily, deeds are only with intentions, and every person will have only what they intended. Whoever emigrated to Allaah and His Messenger, his emigration is for Allaah and His Messenger. Whoever emigrated to get something in the world or to marry a woman, his emigration is for that to which he emigrated.” [Sahih al-Bukhaari 54, Sahih Muslim 1907]
The quiet sacrifices. The late nights. Allaah is aware of every small effort — even the ones no one thanks you for.
Make every moment fi’sabilillaah. When done for His sake, you can never lose.
Perfection doesn’t exist.
Let go of the idea that your children need a perfect mother. Our Lord has made us fallible, so even the best of us are prone to making mistakes. It is how we bounce back from these mistakes that defines us.
It’s okay if you slip up. It’s okay if your patience disappears for a moment. It’s okay if you fall apart.
Matter of the fact is, mothering is hard. Yet we say Alhamdulillaah for the hardships, for in them we gather the strength to be better, by the will of Allaah.
Ukhti, slow down!
You don’t have to do everything today. Sometimes, the most productive thing you can do is sit on the sofa with your child and rest. Slowing down does NOT make you lazy – it helps you continue your productivity.
A rested mother is a gift to her family, and a happy family is a gift to yourself.
Small efforts are still efforts.
Even when you can only give a small fraction, it counts.
A hug. A smile. A word of encouragement. A dua.
Small actions crafted with love create safe and gentle childhoods, and that is what you want your child(ren) to remember.
You don’t have to do it alone.
While we all like to believe we can do it ourselves, asking for help doesn’t make you weak — it makes you wise.
And who better to ask for help than the One who created you?
Anas reported: The Messenger of Allaah, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “Let one of you ask his Lord for his needs, all of them, even for a shoestring when his breaks.” [Sunan al-Tirmidh3i 604]
While it is important to have good individuals around us, such as family and friends who will aid us in our hard times, let us not forget He who facilitates that support.
You are doing amazing.
On the days you feel tired and not enough, remember this:
Your child(ren) trust you.
They feel safe with you.
In a crowd of people, they look for you.
That alone means you are doing something right.
No one truly understands the hardships of motherhood unless they are a mother themselves. So from one mama to another, I promise you that your efforts are not going unseen. We all see you – every one of us on the same journey, we see how hard you are working, and we are proud.
May Allaah strengthen and protect our relationships with our children, grant them righteousness and make them the coolness of our eyes.
May He aid us when we feel we cannot carry on, and may we never forget Him in our times of ease.
Aameen.